no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I looked at my own cervix.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
