Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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