dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
nutella sex= disaster
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
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I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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