omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
