Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
