ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
