I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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