what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize