I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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