i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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