You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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