Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
