he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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