why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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