Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I am available for nakedness
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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