dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
