if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
porn star boner night. come get it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
