He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
