i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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