Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
