This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
