Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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