either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
