I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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