I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
