I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
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Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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