Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
