I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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