Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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