I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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