Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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