she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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