I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
