we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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