Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
