whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The air was thick with penises
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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