wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
