Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Randomize
