We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
