k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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