I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
