I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
