Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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