I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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