Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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