The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
