How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You're earring is so big in my mouth
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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