people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Randomize
