I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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