If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
