I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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