You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
