Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
