wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
