I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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