It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
