Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
