brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Green mimosas i think yes
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
