Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize